Not your Mothers rules.pdf

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Acknowledgments
T
HANKS TO OUR wonderful husbands, Lance and Roger, who were
incredibly supportive while we were writing this book, as well as when our
office phones rang off the hook with emergency consultations that sometimes
interrupted family occasions! And thanks to our fantastic kids, Jason, Jenny, and
Rebecca, who gave us their take on texting, Facebook, BlackBerry Messenger,
iPhones, Skype, and Twitter! We couldn’t have written this book without you…
or without our friends who freely shared their time and dating stories!
A special thanks to all our Rules contacts worldwide, as well as our dating
coaches and clients and fans, who encouraged us to write a new book for the Y
generation.
And a drumroll, please, for our brilliant literary agent and friend, Caryn
Karmatz Rudy, who was always generous with her time and talent and loyalty
for the last fifteen-plus years—and without whom Not Your Mother’s Rules
would have been an idea instead of a reality. Last but not least, thanks to
Hachette Book Group USA (formerly Warner Books, which published our first
book) and a special shout-out to our visionary editor Amanda Englander, who
gave us fabulous direction and guidance and was one of our biggest
cheerleaders.
Chapter I
Why We Wrote This Book
H
AS YOUR MOTHER or another relative, friend, or acquaintance ever said,
“You’re so pretty, smart, and nice—why don’t you have a boyfriend?” Did you
feel speechless because you couldn’t figure it out either and were not sure what
you were doing wrong in the dating department?
Women today manage to graduate with honors, climb the corporate ladder,
and even run for president of the United States, but getting a guy to ask them out
or commit is next to impossible! Alas, we know the reason why most pretty,
smart, and nice women don’t have a significant other: they either pursue guys or
act too eager when guys make the first move!
Here’s how it all started: About twenty years ago we were having dinner with
five friends at a Chinese restaurant on the Upper East Side in New York City, a
scene sort of like one from Sex and the City, but before Sex and the City existed.
Every woman brought her dating problem to the table. We noticed that the
women who played hard to get, either on purpose or because they were truly
busy, got the guys, while the women who asked guys out or showed too much
interest got dumped. We put two and two together, watched it work in real life,
and decided to write a dating book to share the secrets of this phenomenon to
help every woman on earth—not just our friends—date successfully.
Simply put, The Rules are a way of acting around any guy who initiates
conversation with you, whether in person or online, so he becomes obsessed
with you and wants to commit. Yes, it’s about playing hard to get, because guys
love a challenge and lose interest when anything, especially women, are too
easy.
The Rules became an instant best seller and was translated into twenty-seven
languages—because guys are the same all over the world! We appeared on just
about every TV and radio show, preaching the play-hard-to-get gospel. We
started a worldwide phone and e-mail consultation business and a free Rules

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