Paranoia (rebooted) - Extinction-Class Incident Responses (2020).pdf

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E X T I N C T I O N - C L A S S
PARANOIA
®
I N C I D E N T
R E S P O N S E
W. J. MACGUFFIN
WJ MACGUFFIN, JAIME BREWER, JASON BRICK AND STEPHEN
WHITEHEAD
GARETH HANRAHAN
WORD WRANGLER
MATTHEW SPRANGE
DAN GELBER, GREG COSTIKYAN AND ERIC GOLDBERG
COVER ART
Cassie Gregory
Graphic design and artwork by
Cassie Gregory and Amy Perrett
PROOFREADING:
Charlotte
Mission Leader
Written by
Grand Overseer
Paranoia created by
Law
en North ℅ Extent, Kevin Fritzke, Brian Davis,
HEROES OF ALPHA COMPLEX:
Roger Howe, Leigh Keegan, MacLar
nberg, Jason Winstanley, Ian Newborn, Adam Longley,
Oliver Lauenstein, Omer Raviv, Nozomi Oguma, Ron Dautze
ank, Eric Brooke, Kyle Jerviss, Michael Nason,
Steve Weaver, James Petts, James C Napier IV, Nathan Bowerb
Haubenstricker, John Weaver, Frank Forte, Matt Selter,
Boyd Ridley Critz, Chris Kuivenhoven, Anthony Pirri, Robert
, Rianna Preston, Joseph Yoblonski, Matthew D
Bradford Kobryn, Chris Mitchell, Lyle Hayhurst, Aaron M. Grayson
, Ken Smith, John F. Schank III, Adam Starkweather,
Rose, Aisling Jensen, Eric K Sigler, Jesse Butler, David Armand
Chuck Barbee
Charles Reed, John J Senn, Tyler Beck, Jamie Law, Michael Salas,
GENTLEMAN TONE CZAR:
Ken
Rolston
ATTENTION: THIS IS CLASSIFIED FOR THE GM ONLY
PLAYERS SHOULD WALK AWAY BRISKLY BUT WITHOUT PANICKING
CONTENTS
INTRODUCTION
BIOSYN
CVR VULTURE SQUADRON
EUGENIPLUS CLONE VAT OS
FIREKELP
ICE-10 WATER PRODUCT
MOBIUS TEMPORAL LOOP RECRUITER
MOLTEN MELTED LABS & DRIVE-THRU
NUTRITIVE ANTI-MALWARE UPDATE 2.3M7
ORESCOPE FILMED IN SOUNDICOLOUR
PCPUFIX
PROJECT AMPLE
PROZAK WORKPLACE SOUNDTRACK
TREASON NIGHTMARE FILMS
SELF-REPAIRING GUARDBOT M.16
SUB-T OBEDIENCE TRAINING FACILITY
3
5
11
17
23
29
35
41
47
54
60
66
72
78
83
89
Paranoia ® & Copyright © 1984, 2016, 2020 by Eric Goldberg & Greg Costikyan. PARANOIA is a
registered trademark of Eric Goldberg & Greg Costikyan. All Rights Reserved. Mongoose Publishing
Ltd., Authorized User.
The reproduction of material from this book for personal or corporate profit,
by photographic, electronic, or other means of storage and retrieval, is prohibited. You may copy
character sheets, record sheets, checklists and tables for personal use.
Published by Mongoose Publishing, Ltd. Published 2020. Printed In China.
CLEARANCE LEVEL VIOLET
W
A
R
N
I
N
G
EXTINCTION-CLASS
INCIDENT RESPONSE
An R&D report on experiments that could have destroyed all that
we know and love but did not
(1)
.
Complied by R&D with support from all Service Groups working
together in harmony and efficiency like they always do, Year 214.
R&D experiments are necessary to provide cutting-edge research into
fighting terrorists and protecting The Computer, Alpha Complex and its
citizens (in that order). However, there are times
(2)
when such experiments
produce unintended and catastrophic results
(3)
. When these threaten
our very existence, including and especially The Computer, a detailed
response is needed to prevent an extinction-class event
(4)
.
In response to a Computer request
(5)
, R&D created an Extinction-Class
Incident Response Team (ECIRT) with experts
(6)
from all Service Groups.
Working together occasionally, the ECIRT created reports to evaluate
responses as well as the experiments themselves in order to prevent any
accidental apocalypse that could make The Computer feel lonely.
A report on experiments that did destroy all that we know and love is
forthcoming.
(2)
R&D assures everyone this is very, very rare. Yes, they wanted us to print
‘very’ twice.
(3)
Past catastrophes are not a predictor of future results, so get off R&D’s
back already.
(4)
These are events that could lead to the extinction of all humanity, so it is
kinda a big deal.
(5)
Sure. ‘Request’. Very funny.
(6)
Each Service Group defined ‘expert’ differently, so this is going to be a
hot mess.
(1)
How can this help your
Paranoia
missions become even more
fun and deadly? These 15 reports describe a fascinating way
multiple apocalypses (apocali?) just about happened in Alpha
Complex but did not thanks to hard work, sheer luck and
judicious use of summary executions.
But these are not just some light reading and not just because
they are rather dark at times. They come with a three-act mission
prompt related to the armageddons (armageddi?) in question. If
you want to run
Paranoia
and need some ideas to kickstart your
creative juices (juici?), now you have 15 of ‘em, all hand-crafted
using artisanal laptops and locally-sourced insanity to delight the
senses, tickle the palette and make sure Troubleshooters die like
fools they are.
4

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